We wanted to call it...

THE BIGGEST, PRETTIEST, MOST SPECTACULAR PLACE YOU'LL
EVER GATHER TO HOST YOUR SIT-DOWN, CON-FAB, SIT-IN, TRADE
SHOW, SLIDE SHOW, MAGIC SHOW, SEMINAR, BIRTHDAY BASH,
SHINDIG, BEAUTY PAGEANT, WEDDING RECEPTION, DIVORCE
PARTY, HOEDOWN, REUNION, SHOWDOWN, ANNIVERSARY, DANCE
MARATHON EVENT CENTER

... but it wouldn't fit on the business card.